I’m writing to you from my couch today, with a super shitty cold and nothing new to binge on Netflix. I’ve spent most of my day rotating between Twitter, Snapchat and IG to get Coachella updates from my favorite celebrities. Here’s the cold hard truth guys…..I have a serious case of FOMO.
This may sound shocking to most of the people reading who know me (let’s be honest the only people reading this are Kaitlyn and Robyn). The fact is I am not a festival girl! hate dirt, I hate being hungry and the constant need to find food, I hate being exposed to sun of any kind, I don’t do drugs or drink, I don’t like large crowds of people, I certainly don’t camp, and the amount of money you’d have to pay me to use a port o potty is unthinkable.
I sound like a ton of fun right.
And then there’s the fashion, I am not a crochet girl, my thighs rub together too much to be a short cutoff jeans girl, I don’t think I’ve ever in my life owned anything tie dyed, I look ridiculous in ALL hats, I can’t pull off combat boots to save my life, (the more and more I write the more and more this sounds like the perfect place for Kaitlyn), I still haven’t lost the baby weight in my mid section even though my “baby” is 5 years old so crop tops are out of the question, I don’t think I’ve been in a bathing suit in public since the summer of 1997 when Stephanie Leach and I went to Penticton for the summer and I thought I was “fat” so those super lavish pool parties all the celebrities are at in their rented villas are out too, I spend way too much energy keeping on top of my grey hair to bother dying it pink or purple. Plus can we all acknowledge I would easily be one of the oldest people at Coachella!!!
Side note: Is there a music festival where loafers and button down shirts with cute jeans are the required attire?? Where I can simply nod my head with my legs crossed on a comfortable stool like the small town white girl I am while enjoying Kendrick and Lady Gaga?? Where waiters serve me my food at an actual table and the bathrooms are clean with scented hand cream and free tampons and plungers in all the stalls in case you happen to be the dickface who plugs it?? No....this festival doesn't exist yet....maybe I'll plan it myself.
Anyways, Kaitlyn and I went over all these details last week when we both rolled our eyes saying “get ready for all those obnoxious Coachella posts!” but then Saturday rolled around and all those same people posting were getting geared up to see Gaga perform her new single and Kendrick take the stage after he released a killer new album. I came into the shop and sheepishly admitted I’m super jelly I’m not there and Kaitlyn quickly admitted she feels the same way!!
And than I had a brilliant idea, you see we had a huge sale at the store on Good Friday and it was so successful we’ve decided to make it an annual event and we simply called it the Good Friday sale. But as I sat there looking at those girls dancing in their flowy skirts to Tove Lo showing off their wrist bands I thought “why don’t we have our own Coachella…..Birchella??” I instantly snapped Kaitlyn and we spent the next hour snapping back and forth ideas for next years sale and our outfits of course.
So, this time next year we will have our huge blow out sale again but it will aptly be called Birchella…..we’re also getting our first Gypsy Soul order in this week so we’ll definitely be able to outfit you all for the event!
And remember, Birches in flower crowns get an additional 10% off their entire purchase!